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In our first session, you can expect that:

I'll introduce myself, so you know a bit about who you are talking to.
I'll tell you about some practical 'need-to-knows' like session length, confidentiality.
I'll ask you some questions so I can get to know a bit about who you are and what's important to you. You don't have to answer any questions you don't want to. Some examples might be:
- Who are the important people in your life?
- What do you enjoy doing? (eg. hobbies, or to relax)
- Who do you live with, what are they like?
- What is your cultural background? In your culture(s), how do people see wellbeing? Is there any thing that would make counselling more at home for you culturally eg. waiata, karakia?
- What are some things that you / others admire about you?

In any session, I'll always ask you questions that are designed to work out a detailed description of what you'd most like to get out of coming to counselling. It's a key part of what makes Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) work. Some examples might be:

Assuming we do some good counselling together today, what do you think you'll notice afterwards that will tell you it was useful?
Let's say you woke up after tonights sleep, and the problem that brought you here to counselling was somehow fixed. Can you tell me what things might change to make you realise this had happened? How would the people around you react?
What difference it would it make in your life, or in your whānau, if (something you've said you want) somehow happened?

Sometimes I ask about what you've said, done, and noticed recently. Some examples might be:

How did you manage that?
What made you realise this had happened?

We can also make time in a session if there's something you just want to talk through or vent about or otherwise discuss. Once we've run out of time (about 50 minutes usually, but we can structure things differently if you need) or we've done enough for the session, we will finish.

Some questions can be surprising and tricky. Don't worry if one stumps you for a bit, and don't feel like you have to answer straight away. Actually, if a question stumps you for a bit, that's great - it means your brain is making a new pathway of thought.

I'll introduce myself
I'll talk through some admin
I'll ask some questions to help me get to know you
We'll talk a lot about what you want to happen in your future & details you've noticed in the present
We'll talk for about 50 minutes (unless you want to structure things differently)
I'll take some notes or make a mindmap - you can have a copy
Some of the questions can be tricky, don't worry if they stump you, take your time. It's actually a good sign - it's making your brain think a whole new train of thought.

What's a counselling session like?

Find a good spot (private, quiet, with good wifi) and get set up for zoom call.
Remove distractions (eg. airplane mode, reminding housemates not to interrupt)
Anything you want to help you be focused and comfortable (eg. fidget items, cuppa, comfy blanket.)
Fill in the intake form before your first session (I'll email it to you)
You don't need to think about anything in advance, but if it will help you to organise your thoughts or get something across, you're welcome to write a list, email me in advance, or something else like that.

What do I need to prepare before a counselling session?

Please choose from the available appointment times here
You can submit a booking request on that page
I'll email you:
- confirming the time
- with an invoice
- with a new client information form
Please fill out the info form before your first session
I'll send you a reminder
We meet on zoom at your appointment time!
I'll email you any follow-up / notes
If want another appointment, you can book through the same page again (or we can sort it at the end of your session). Booking several appointments in one go to get the times you want is great too.

Payment

Payment is by internet banking please, and prompt payment (by the day of your appointment) is super appreciated. Unfortunately I can't make further sessions available until previous fees have been paid.

Cancellations

If you need to cancel up to the day before, or if I have to cancel, there is no charge for the session and if you've already paid you can either just rebook for another time or get a full refund.
If you have to cancel day-of, there will still be a half-charge for the session.
If you're running late I might have to cut the session short if someone is booked in straight after you, but let me know - we might be able to shuffle things so you get a full session.

WINZ funding

If your doctor approves counselling, funding from the disability allowance can be put towards sessions. The information about these processes is vague and sometimes contradictory, and I want to acknowledge that navigating that system can be a barrier. It's worth bearing in mind it is generally your doctor, not WINZ, that validates your need for counselling / the disability allowance. The WINZ website makes it sound like you wouldn't be elegible for counselling for stress unless the stress was directly caused by a separate, diagnosable disabilitiy, but the experience of many of us counsellors has been that this is not actually the case. So if your income is under the qualifying threshhold, I highly recommend talking to your doctor to see if your needs qualify for counselling / disability allowance rather than assuming you don't based on what WINZ has written.

ACC

I am not a provider with ACC, sorry!

Please view available appointment times & submit a booking request here
I'll email you to confirm the time & with an invoice and new client information sheet
Please fill out the info sheet before your first session

Further appointments can be booked through the same page again (or we can sort it at the end of your session).

Payment

Payment is by internet banking. Payment by the day of your session is very appreciated please. Unfortunately I can't make further sessions available until previous fees have been paid.

Cancellations

If you need to cancel up to the day before, or if I have to cancel, there is no charge for the session and if you've already paid you can either just rebook for another time or get a full refund.
If you have to cancel day-of, there will still be a half-charge for the session.
If you're running late I might have to cut the session short depending on other bookings, but let me know - we might be able to shuffle things so you get as full a session time as possible.

Funding

If your doctor approves counselling, funding from the disability allowance can be put towards sessions.
I am not a provider with ACC, sorry!

How does booking & payment work?

In general, I keep private and confidential anything you say in counselling. That means I won't tell other people what you've talked about or even that you've attended counselling, without your permission. There are some exceptions:

If I think it’s needed to keep you or somebody else safe from serious, imminent harm. This means telling an appropriate person the minimum necessary information they would need to help keep you or someone else safe. That person might be your emergency contact, or another professional such as a doctor, social worker, school, or emergency services.
It's also possible for a court to subpoena confidential material.
In order to make sure I'm providing a good service, I discuss my work with my supervisor, an experienced counsellor who will also keep this information confidential.

If I have to share information I try to give you as much control and transparency as possible. Usually that means discussing what I'm going to say with you first, and making calls in front of you / sharing copies of letters with you so you know exactly what's being said. Sometimes that isn't possible but it's the ideal.

Some made-up examples (these examples are not graphic but please be aware they involve thought processes about suicide and self harm):

A client says they think a lot about suicide. We talk about these thoughts and they explain that feeling "there's always a way out" helps them deal with feeling trapped at the moment, or perhaps the thoughts have just become a bit of an automatic process. They haven't felt at risk of actually acting on those thoughts recently and are hopeful that things will improve. In this case, we probably would not break confidentiality, because there isn't an imminent serious risk.
A client says they do sometimes get the urge to attempt suicide or dangerous amounts of self-harm. It feels overwhelming in the moment and they've thought through how they might do it. They're worried because they've had a crap few weeks and the thoughts are becoming more intense. In this case we probably would break confidentiality because the risk is higher and more imminent. I would talk through what I was going to do to the client. I might say ...
- "Who do you want me to call? It needs to be someone who has the ability to intervene for your safety - I'm going to ask that they arrange for people to be around you at home for a while, and for someone to remove any dangerous things from the house."
- "I want to say that say that you've been having some suicidal urges you're not sure you can manage. If they ask why, what do you want them to know? I don't have to say anything - I can just say it's confidential."
- "I suggest I call them in front of you so you know what I've said, is that good with you?"
- "Do you have any worries about how this is going to go? Do you have anything you want me to focus on communicating in the phonecall?"

You are welcome to share anything said in your counselling to anyone you choose of course, and you are also welcome to request a copy of any notes about you at any time! Your notes will be held for at least 7 years after you finish counselling, then may be deleted. Notes will be kept either locked (paper) or password protected (electronic).

In general, I keep what you say in counselling confidential. That means I won't tell other people what you've talked about or even that you've attended counselling, without your permission. There are some exceptions:

To keep you or somebody else safe from serious, imminent harm
To provide a good service, I discuss my work with a supervisor counsellor, who would keep any information confidential.
It's also possible for a court to subpoena confidential material.

If I have to share information, wherever possible I try to discuss what I'm going to say with you first, take your preferences into account as long as we are still addressing the risk, and make calls in front of you / share copies of letters with you so you know exactly what's being said.

You are welcome to share anything said in your counselling to anyone you choose of course, and you are also welcome to request a copy of any notes about your sessions at any time! Your notes will be held for at least 7 years after you finish counselling, then may be deleted. Notes will be kept either locked (paper) or password protected (electronic).

How does confidentiality work?

Do you do in-person counselling?

I'm looking forward to being able to do this at some point in the future but it's not feasible right now for me.

I need an accomodation -

I'm really happy to discuss this. Please do get in touch.

When you say you're neurodiversity friendly...

I mean that I think there's more than one way for our brains to work, and it's interacting with a society that is strictly set up for only one of these causes most of our problems, our burnout. For example I don't think it's fair to say "autistics have trouble with communication" but ignore that non-autistic people have trouble with actually saying what we mean and with correctly interpreting natural autistic communication.

I also recognise that things are complicated. Some of us do feel like our neurodivergencies come with some objective upsides and/or downsides, some don't. Some of us feel like our neurodivergence is an inherent part of our personality, others feel we have symptoms that overlay our core selves. It can be hard to discuss our experiences sometimes because we worry the wider world will write us off, or use the subtleties and contradictions in how we see ourselves to justify making decisions for us. We are often trying to present a picture of ourselves that is protective - both saying "we can do anything" and "our (different/accomodation) needs are important too" to others. Those who aren't always well educated about us can see these as contradictory, but they're not - every single person has support needs, some are just so widespread that we don't think about them.

Although there are many types of neurodivergence, and I still have more to learn, I have learned a lot about ADHD and Autism in particular. I was diagnosed with ADHD myself as an adult. My wife is autistic, and works in autism research & advocacy, so I get a lot of quality information and professional development through her. People bring all kinds of issues to counselling, but the way we talk about them or the solutions we build might be different because of our neurodivergence. Some of the classic approaches to well known problems can be really counterproductive for us. Having a counsellor who is aware of this and able to work with who we are, instead of who everyone is assumed to be, is important. I'm here to listen to your priorities and your way of thinking about yourself with respect and attention, and work from there.

Do you do diagnostic assessments?

No, counsellors can't do these. If you suspect you have a particular diagnosis, I am very happy to explore what that means for you and how it might relate to the solutions you want to build. I don't believe you should have to get an official diagnosis before working out if the resources, strategies, and accumulated wisdom of that community can help you! If you would like to seek a diagnosis, you have two options: directly approach a psychologist in private practice or ask your GP for a referral to see a public health system psychologist or psychiatrist.

Can I get in touch with you between sessions?

You are welcome to email me, but please be aware that I'm not able to urgently respond. I don't provide a crisis / high-intensity service - my counselling service is suitable for clients who are generally able to manage with the support of friends/family/other key workers until our next session. So 'therapy' discussions might get saved for your next session but I'll try and get back to you ASAP about anything 'admin' (eg. when your next appointment is, sending you a copy of your notes, a note for school etc.).

Because I am not able to urgently read or respond to emails, if you think you or someone else is in an emergency, please call 111 straight away. If your or someone else's mental health is in crisis please call 0800 920 092, or for young people 0800 218 219. You can also use the 1737 service if you want to vent, get encouragement, or talk something through before your next session.

Do you do in-person counselling?

I'm looking forward to being able to do this at some point in the future but it's not feasible right now for me.

I need an accomodation -

I'm really happy to discuss this. Please do get in touch.

When you say you're neurodiversity friendly...

I mean that I think there's more than one way for our brains to work, and it's interacting with a society that is strictly set up for only one of these ways that causes many of our problems & burnout. I recognise that we all have different experiences and different ways of thinking about our neurodivergences, and it can be complicated. I'm here to listen to your priorities and your way of thinking. The way we approach counselling, our goals, and the solutions that work for us may be different to what people expect because of our neurodivergence so it's important to have a counsellor who is aware of this. I still have more to learn, but am very familiar with executive function issues, ADHD, which I have, and autism, because my wife is autistic and works in autism research & advocacy.

Do you do diagnostic assessments?

No, though if you suspect you have a particular diagnosis, I am very happy to explore what that means for you and how it might relate to the solutions / changes you want to build. To seek a diagnosis, usually you can either directly approach a psychologist in private practice or ask your GP for a referral for assessment through the public health system.

Can I get in touch with you between sessions?

You are welcome to email, but please be aware I can't urgently read/respond to emails. 'Therapy' discussions will probably get saved for your next session but I'll try and get back to you ASAP about anything 'admin' (eg. when your next appointment is, sending you a copy of your notes, a note for school etc.). I don't provide a crisis / high-intensity service - my counselling service is suitable for clients who are generally able to manage with the support of friends/family/other key workers until our next session.

If you think you or someone else is in an emergency, please call 111 straight away. If your or someone else's mental health is in crisis please call 0800 920 092, or for young people 0800 218 219. Anyone can also use the 1737 service if you want to vent, get encouragement, or talk something through before your next session.

More Information

What's a counselling session like?

What do I need to prepare before a counselling session?

How does booking & payment work?

How does confidentiality work?

Other questions